Bozo Tax Tip #4: Use a Bozo Accountant

I’ve come to the conclusion that everything in life is normally distributed. You may remember the normal distribution from a class you took on probability theory. It’s the bell curve. Most things are in the middle, but some are outliers stuck at both ends.

It’s that way in the world of tax accounting. There are good accountants, there are average accountants, and there are, of course, bad accountants. But it takes a special set of skills to be a Bozo accountant.

I’ve written several stories about Bozo tax practitioners. Here are some helpful hints on what to look for in a Bozo tax practitioner:

  • He’s never met a deduction that doesn’t fit everyone. There’s no reason why a renter can’t take a mortgage interest deduction, right? And everyone’s entitled to $20,000 of employee business expenses…even if their salary is just $40,000 a year. Ask the proprietors of Western Tax Service about that.
  • He believes that the income tax is voluntary. After all, we live in a democracy, so we don’t have to pay taxes, right?
  • Besides preparing tax returns, he sells courses on why the Income Tax is unconstitutional or how by filing the magical $2295 papers he sells you’ll be able to avoid the income tax.
  • He wants you to sign over that tax refund to him. After all, he’ll make sure you get your share of it after he takes out his 50% of the refund.

I think you get the idea. If your tax preparer starts exhibiting symptoms like these, make sure you find someone else. File an extension and seek someone who is not a Bozo.

Like it or not, taxes are part of life. Tax preparers who follow one of the items on the Tax Protester FAQ are Bozos. If you follow a Bozo’s advice you’re just asking for trouble.

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Bozo Tax Tip #5: The $0.42 Solution

With Tax Day fast approaching it’s time to look into the Bozo method of courting disaster. And it doesn’t, on the surface, seem to be a Bozo method. After all, this organization has the motto, Neither rain nor snow nor gloom of night can stay these messengers about their duty.

Well, that’s not really the Postal Service’s motto. It’s just the inscription on the General Post Office in New York (at 8th Avenue and 33rd Street).

So assume you have a lengthy, difficult return. You’ve paid a professional good money to get it done. You go to the Post Office, put proper postage on it, dump it in the slot (before April 15th), and you’ve just committed a Bozo act.

If you use the Postal Service to mail your tax returns, spend the extra money for certified mail. For $2.70 you can purchase certified mail. Yes, you will have to stand in a line (or you can use the automated machines in many post offices), but you now have a receipt that verifies that you have mailed your return.

About three years ago a client saved $2.42 (I think that was the cost of a certified mail piece then) and sent his return in with a $0.37 stamp. It never made it. He ended up paying nearly $1000…but he did save $2.42.

Don’t be a Bozo. Efile (and you don’t have to worry at all about the Post Office), or spend the $2.70! And you can go all out and get a return receipt, too (though you can now track certified mail online). There’s a reason every client letter notes, “using certified mail.”

A warning for those who save the money and do not use return receipt service. The postal service only keeps the computerized (online) records up for two years. So you must print that record of delivery off the postal service’s website. Or you can spend an additional $2.20 for a return receipt postcard or $1.00 for an electronic return receipt. Paper counts, so make sure you get a receipt of some sort.

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Bozo Tax Tip #6: Just Don’t File

We’re running some repeats, but there is some new Bozo material coming. It’s just that people keep trying the same things over and over again.

It’s tough to avoid the tax system. There are currency transaction reports (cash transactions of $10,000 or more) and suspicious activity reports (theoretically can be done on any transaction, but usually starts at $3,000 or more) done with cash. Businesses must send out 1099s on payments of $600 or more to individuals. Barter organizations must send out 1099s.

But that doesn’t stop the Bozo contingent. “They’ll never catch me,” they believe. Until the IRS or the Franchise Tax Board (substitute your state tax agency if you’re not in California) knocks on their door. There’s no statute of limitations if you don’t file.

Paying taxes isn’t fun. Avoiding the system and living on the edge may give you a thrill, but if you get caught you’ll be given a bill…and possibly a trip to ClubFed.

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Deadlines for Clients

Last month in my email to clients I noted that if paperwork for your returns was not in my hands by early April it was probable you would need to file an extension. Well, that day is here.

If your paperwork is not at my office by the close of business today I cannot guarantee that your return will be ready by April 15th and you may have to file an extension.

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Property Taxes Due on Friday

If you’re a Californian, your second property tax payment is due this Friday, April 10th. Your payment must either be postmarked by Friday or paid by Friday to avoid penalties.

The Orange County Tax Collector has an online system available to pay your bill; many other counties have similar systems.

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Bozo Tax Tip #7: Nevada Corporations

Nevada is doing everything it can to draw businesses from California. Frankly, California is doing a lot to draw businesses away from the Bronze Golden State. But just like last year you need to beware if you’re going to incorporate in Nevada.

If the corporation operates in California it will need to file a California tax return. Period. It doesn’t matter if the corporation is a California corporation, a Delaware corporation, or a Nevada corporation.

Now, if you’re planning on moving to Nevada incorporating in the Silver State can be a very good idea. But thinking you’re going to avoid California taxes just because you’re a Nevada corporation is, well, bozo.

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Bozo Tax Tip #8: The Shell

I was talking with a friend who is an attorney in the Midwest. She told me about an individual who decided to use ten layers of shell companies to hide his income. It worked so well that the Bozo had trouble accessing his income.

He was using the usual foreign shelter countries: the Cayman Islands (in the Caribbean), the Channel Islands (in the English Channel), the Isle of Man (in the Irish Sea), and Vanuatu (in the South Pacific). There was a land-based country in there, too: Panama. In any case, somehow the ownership got so messed up that one of the shells refused to deal with another.

My friend didn’t get involved to get the money situation resolved. No, she got involved because her client ended up going through a messy divorce, and her client’s now ex-wife happen to find one of the papers dealing with one of the shells companies. My friend’s a divorce attorney, and a good one, and she was able, with some help, find a lot of the hidden money. The judge was not as amused as I was hearing about the difficulties the man was having getting his money out. And neither was the IRS because he had “forgotten” to pay tax on a lot of income.


There are lots of good strategies for businesses to use to lower their taxes. Income balancing to C corporations can be a good strategy. Maximizing Section 179 depreciation is another. So is my least favorite deduction, the Domestic Production Activities Deduction (Section 199). There are many, many others. But hiding income in foreign jurisdictions is a very bad one, and if you get caught you are likely looking at a lengthy term at ClubFed.

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Bozo Tax Tip #9: Only Foreign Income Is Taxable

Another repeat from 2008, mainly because people still try to peddle this snake oil. This conversation took place just yesterday.

Two prospective clients came into my office (husband and wife). I showed them my Engagement Letter first, and they wanted to ask me some questions. The first were routine about the wife’s income. But then the husband told me he didn’t have a W-2 from his job.

“Well,” I asked, “Were you paid under the table?”

“Oh, it was nothing like that. I was working in South Korea last year.”

It turns out he was working as an independent contractor in Korea. “And isn’t it great,” he continued, “that I don’t have to pay US tax on that income.”

I corrected him. “You do have to pay US tax on that income. Americans pay tax on their worldwide income. Now, had you had income tax taken out of your Korean income you would be eligible for a tax credit. Were you overseas for 330 days in 2008?”

“No,” he said. “I came back for the summer. I didn’t like the humidity.”

“That’s a shame, because had you been overseas for 330 days out of a 365-day period, you’d be eligible for the foreign earned income exclusion.”

I told the potential client that he would pay both income and self-employment tax on his Korean income. He didn’t like my answers, and said he’d find another accountant who would see things his way. He’s likely still searching.


As noted above, if you do earn income abroad, there are some real tax tips you can take advantage of. If you have a genuine residence overseas or meet the physical presence test (generally, being abroad 330 days out of 365), you may be eligible for the Earned Income Exclusion. If eligible, you can exclude up to $87,600 in 2008. And the time period does not have to be a calendar year; if you’re overseas from May 1, 2008 through April 15, 2009, you would likely be eligible for a prorated credit.

If you earn income abroad and it’s taxed abroad, you are likely eligible for the Foreign Tax Credit. The general principle is that income should only be taxed once, so if (say) Japan taxes your income, you should get a credit of that tax on your US tax return.

Finally, anyone who is not in the United States on April 15th gets an extra two months (until June 15th) to file his tax return. (You need to attach an explanation to your tax return.) If you’re abroad, you won’t be subject to penalties but you will be subject to interest on what you owe (interest is statutory).

There are numerous caveats and gotchas, and numerous ways to lessen your tax if you either have foreign source income or live abroad. Talk to a professional who can help you if you’re contemplating living abroad or will soon have significant income from abroad. But whatever you do, remember that foreign income is just as taxable as income earned in the United States

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Bozo Tax Tip #10: Use Consecutive SSNs When Cheating the IRS

It’s time for our annual rundown of Bozo Tax Tips, strategies that you really, really, really shouldn’t try. But somewhere, somehow, someone will try these. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Here’s a repeat for the third year:

Let’s thank Michael Graham of Queens, New York for coming up with this gem. Mr. Graham decided to file phony tax returns with the IRS. He used consecutive social security numbers on his tax returns.

He did get one tax refund through the system and collected $900. However, the other 1,799 returns were caught by the IRS and he didn’t get the $1.6 million he attempted to collect. He did find his way to court, though….


I strongly suggest that you do not try anything like this. The IRS and state tax agencies do have systems in place to catch bozos who attempt crimes like this. Instead of trying to bilk the system, ask your tax preparer about legitimate deductions that are available for you to take. The regular IRA allows you to deduct $5,000 ($6,000 if you’re 50 or older) from your income (if you’re eligible). You have until April 15th to make your contributions.

And if you’re self-employed, you may be able to contribute to a SEP IRA. You have until your return is timely filed, including extensions, to contribute to a SEP IRA. You can contribute 20% of your net self-employment income up to a maximum of $46,000 to a SEP (for the 2009 tax year this will rise to $47,000). This is one tax deduction that’s available until October 15th if you file an extension.

Phony tax returns will likely lead you to a stint at ClubFed (where Mr. Graham went). We recommend the IRA or SEP IRA over ClubFed….

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Pre-April 15th Hiatus

It’s that time of year again. I’ve written my top ten Bozo Tax Tips to help people like Richard Hatch in his quest to prove 300 million witness wrong. Those tips will start posting automatically beginning this coming Wednesday.

Until then I’m taking a break from blogging unless a major tax issue pops up (in which case I will mention it). We’ll be back with our usual weekly tax offenders after Tax Day. Until then remember that you do have to file a tax return, and if you don’t you will suffer the consequences.

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